I was having lunch with a girl recently and offered to go refill her drink. As I picked up her cup and stood to go get the refill she said, "TY". I thought about stabbing her after that.

Don't worry, you won't be seeing my face in the news, at least not for the murder of this young woman, but needless to say I won't be calling (read as:texting) her for another date.

Seriously, is this what the use of the English language has come to? I text. I text a lot. I go through around 7-8 thousand texts a month. I'm even guilty of using the occasional emoticon, acronym, or 'haha'. But I adamantly refuse to make it a common occurance, or worse yet, use it in the spoken word.

If this trend continues I don't know that I can be held responsible for my actions. If my roommate says, out loud, "Lawl, fuh-tah-wuh (FTW=for the win), rah-full-stomp (roflstomp=win so excessively you laugh out loud), or no-buh-duh (NBD=no big deal)" then I may just have to put a pillow over his face while he is sleeping and press. Hard.

Isn't techonology supposed to set us free? Make life easier? While it may do this, the shackles of stupidity are firmly being locked around our wrists and ankles. I received a three page text today, without a single capitalized letter or puncuation mark, and at least three 'haha's or 'LOL's. After wiping the vomit from around my mouth, I struggled to conjure a response that wouldn't show my disgust. Even more difficult, however, was formulating a reply that would fit my audience without resorting to a "zomggg lol".

In order to make my life easier (because, really, it is all about me) I submit that we abolish either text emoticons and acronyms, or the english language and revert back to pictoglyphs scratched on the walls of our abodes.

Sound good to you? Sounds freakin' awesome to me! LOL.